Good rule of thumb: Don't do anything stupid* around me.

*Especially when you are in a work truck, making it extremely easy for me to tell on you. Because I WILL.


Hello everyone! I'm back, and with a story to share.
I saw a flock of ring-billed gulls in the Kmart parking lot, so I thought I would grab some lunch and go over and sit with the gulls while I ate.
While I was sharing my french fries with the flock, two different people came by and dumped huge amounts of bread and whatnot for the gulls. (Now I know why they congregate there) This was done in a furtive fashion, as if they didn't want anyone to know that they were doing it.

One of the gulls caught my eye as being different than the others. One foot dangled uselessly from his leg.


The general floppiness and the color of it told me that this was probably a dead foot and this poor dude wouldn't make it. I actually, briefly wondered if I could catch him and take him to a rehabber.




I came to my senses. This was a flighted bird, and I had no net.



This particular bird made me laugh out loud.

He was ruling the parking lot with his head-throwing and bullying. I was enjoying all of the vocalizations...the typical 'gull' cries, weird gruff moaning, some very eerie chuckling...And check the camo...gulls are well suited for parking lots, at least in their first few years, aren't they?

I set the camera to "Video" to capture all the cool sounds.
(Some people hate gulls....like I hate house sparrows. To each his own. Personally, I love gulls)


As the camera ran, a truck came barreling into the shot, scattering the gulls. I followed with my eyes instead of the camera...a township truck had intentionally tried to hit the flock of gulls.
I just sat there with my mouth hanging open.
I snapped out of it and used my binoculars to read the number on the truck and to get a physical description of the driver (he had parked and gone into Kmart).
So here I was, with not only his truck number and what he looked like, I HAD VIDEO EVIDENCE of what he did.
Hmmm...what's a girl to do?
I emailed his boss at the township headquarters.
It felt good. Oh yes it did.

Look for yourself:


But let's take the birds out of the equation. He is still driving diagonally across an active parking lot at about 40 mph.
I am awaiting a response. And I will be certain to share that response with you.

Thwarted pervert? Thief? Or just a really big IDIOT?

A few weeks ago, while dropping Lorelei at school, I noticed an SUV parked in an empty part of the parking lot. I took note of it, but assumed he was dropping off a child or something.
I saw him again a few days later and mentioned it to a school staff member.
Didn't hear anything about it.
When I saw him again yesterday, I had just had enough. I demanded answers from a staff member. She took Lorelei into school, and as I was leaving, the GUY pulled out right behind me.
Holy Crap. I drove down to Kroger and parked (better to be around lots of people, I thought to myself). He drove on, not pulling into the parking lot.

Today, as I pulled in to pick up Lorelei, he was there again.
I grabbed the first staff member I saw and told them he was out there. She ran to the director's office, where the director called the police. I ran out, grabbed my binoculars (See? GOOD to be a BIRDER!) and got his license plate number and got a good look at him. I ran back in and gave all the information to the director, who relayed it to the police.

Lorelei and I went back out and sat in the car (with doors locked and engine running) and waited. He left before the police got there....
BUT:
Tonight was the art show at the school, and as we walked in, the director pulled me aside and told me this:

The police found the guy, pulled him over...and found out that the guy was pirating the church's unsecured, wireless Internet signal.

Now. Imagine how it went down. The police swarm this guy's car, thinking he was a child perv, and this guy having to admit that he was stealing from a church.

That's just priceless. I bet I won't be seeing HIM again!

An Open Letter to Stupid and Lazy Person

Dear Stupid and Lazy Person,

I wanted to thank you personally for not returning your cart to the corral at the fabric store today. And I am concerned about your welfare, since you must have been in such a hurry that you couldn't walk 10 feet to the place that the carts are supposed to be returned. Maybe you are a heart surgeon and got that call about a transplant. Or you had to get to that sale at the Gap. Or you just had to pee really bad.
Even though the winds were blowing at higher than 40 miles per hour, something kept you from securing that cart. So I hope you are okay.

Never mind that the wind pushed your unsecured cart and made it roll down the slanted parking lot and was observed by a man sitting in his car, and said man watched it slam into my new Subaru. That man must have thought it was such a spectacular sight, that he had to come into the store and find me to tell me of the incident. That story really made the remainder of my shopping visit a pleasure.

I went out to survey the damage, which compared to your uber-busy schedule, really is trivial. Only three huge dents in the driver-side door. Of my new car.

You will never see me, or hear my tale. But that's okay, right? You are so busy and important that it's beneath you to think of other human beings and their property.

Have a nice day*,
Susan




*What I mean by that is... "I hope a bucketful of screw worms infests the crack of your a- -."

The suckiness of Customer Service

This morning, Geoff realized that the Internet connection was not working. After calling our provider, and resetting the router, etc, the Customer Service Goon ascertained that the router was not getting a signal. He told Geoff to take the router to our local Time Warner store to exchange it for a new one.

After waiting in the store for an HOUR(Geoff said that there were wall-to-wall people in there, wanting Hi-Def cable for the big game tomorrow...nothing like waiting til the last minute, you morons) yet another Customer Service Goon told Geoff that they couldn't give us a wireless router ( like we have) and that we would have to wait for the Technician Goon to bring us one on Monday.

Now. Don't you think that information would have come in handy for Geoff to know before waiting in line for an hour?
So that's why I'm here, curled up at a Starbucks with the lap top.
If anyone needs to get hold of me from now until Monday, call me.

(Those of you who might actually need to talk to me will already have my numbers. I'm sure not going to give out my numbers here....you ever seen some of the people who read this blog????)

: )

Marilyn's Crane

It's not often that I get to see a non-raptor at RAPTOR, Inc. A few nighthawks, things like that.

A few days ago, Marilyn, one of our rehabbers (who is also licensed to treat non-raptors, is a retired art teacher, and a generally neat person), got a call about a "big bird" in a bad part of town. The person reporting it also said that some neighborhood boys were throwing things at it.

When Marilyn arrived, she knew what it was.

(I love bird feet....they have never lost their reptilian roots)


Anyone want to guess the owner of this foot?



Here's Lorelei's hand next to the foot.

Give?
Okay....it was a sandhill crane.

It was a juvenile, suffering from a broken leg. A badly broken leg, with the lower leg just below the knee dangling by a thread.

Marilyn has been doing rehab basically forever, and knew this break would never heal properly. She took it immediately to one of our vets for euthanasia.

When I heard that we had a sandhill crane in the freezer, I had to have a look.



Poor sweet bird....the neck was gently folded towards the back so it could fit into our freezer.
(This bird has gone to the Cincinnati Museum Center to be added to their collection)

It was so heavy....we are used to 3 pound hawks and a big 4 1/2 pound turkey vulture. This guy felt like it weighed about 10 pounds.




I couldn't stop exclaiming how beautiful it was. And how sad it was....and how enraged I was that pissy little boys were trying to hurt it as it trembled alone in the world, left behind by its flock.

Migration is so very rough on birds...Look at the ragged edges of the feathers:




The more I think about it, the angrier I get.
I have two girls. I'm a girl. So I really don't get the mentality of human males.

WHY do boys do things like that? Is it nature? Is it nurture? What makes a little boy fry ants with a magnifying glass, or stomp bugs, or throw rocks at a sandhill crane?

I've had countless conversations with moms of boys, and they all say the same thing (and I don't buy it)...."Boys will be boys" and "It's a boy thing".
Please.

Someone explain this to me.

It's fun to stay at the Y M C A .......

We joined the local YMCA as a Christmas gift for the girls, and one of the perks of a Y membership is all the classes they offer.
Both the girls are in a swimming class, and Lorelei for the first time is taking a dance class....Ballet/Tap/Jazz.
There was a scheduling snafu on Tuesday, so Lorelei took a make-up class today so she isn't behind.
Since the child dances every waking hour of her life, I knew she would do well. I was surprised at just how well she did.


There's natural grace there, but also a desperate need for more balance. You'd think, with that dinky, Italian-shaped body and its low center of gravity, she would be more stable. Like a Weeble-Wobble. But she does need to practice on keeping herself righted.



After warming up, the teacher led them through a series of "Graceful" exercises, some pantomimes like putting on rings, and make up and doing up their hair.





A chorus line!


During the hour-long class, I went to get my membership card's photo taken (UGH) and wandering around the Y....


Found this:

Look, Ruthie and Trixie! A knitting group!
(Where the Heck is Trixie, by the way?)

I saw this poster and immediately thought of some of my...ahem...more mature blogger friends:

May is "Older American" Month?
Huh. Who knew?

I have two days down on my Marathon Week, tomorrow's the last day.
While bringing the birds back yesterday, I was behind this goofy vehicle:

Read the names of the kids and the dog......

You know, some people are just begging to be slapped right in their heads.