Saturday, April 05, 2008

Jersey Girl versus Mid-western Girl

The scene: A gas station in State College, Pennsylvania

The players: Laura and Susan


************************
Laura: Okay, I need to fill up. Here's a station...

We see yet another "film crew" of students making a film for class, at the gas pumps. We park behind them at an available pump.

Laura: (puts down her window.....then sits there)

Susan: (Opening door) I need to run in the store. (I shut the door, then look back...Laura is still just sitting there) Laura?

Laura: Is he going to pump my gas or what?

Susan: Huh? Who?

Laura: That guy-(pointing to guy making student film)

Susan: Laura.....he doesn't work here. (thinking she has lost her mind)

Laura: Where's the attendant?

Susan: The what? This is a self-serve pump.

Laura: Self-serve?!? What do I do? ( hint of panic creeping into her voice)

Susan: You pump the gas yourself, you weenie. What is wrong with you?

Laura: I don't know how!

Susan: What do you mean, you don't know how?!?

Laura: I've never pumped my own gas!

Susan: Are you sh**ting me???

Laura: No! You aren't allowed to pump your own gas in New Jersey! What do I do?

Susan: Oh, for God's sake...I'll do it.
(Walking around to the pump)

Susan: (pumping gas) This is surreal.

Laura: I want to fill it up.

Susan: Okay, okay....

Laura: How does it know when to stop?

Susan: There's a genie inside and he tells the pump that the tank is full.
(Pump clicks off at $29.80)

Laura: Can you squeeze in 20 cents more?

Susan: Jeez...picky picky.


During this exchange, I think I broke something in my gut...I haven't laughed that hard in years.
And of course, I had to tell the employees in the store about it.

16 comments:

The Swami said...

Susan,
Did you ask Laura if you could clean the windshield and check the oil too. Also, shouldn't you have been singing a little service station jingle instead of chortling?

Patrick Belardo said...

Too funny! Once I went to a pump with a rental car. I opened the tank door and went to pump the gas. The pump wouldn't fit in the hole! I was so confused! I started to panic and then I asked some guy about it. He said, "Maybe you should try to not pump diesel into your car." Good thing they make the diesel and gasoline pumps different sizes!

Rurality said...

I can remember being terrified to pump gas when everything went to self-serve here. For the longest time, the guys at the station would pump it for you anyway if you were female! Of course there aren't even "guys" anymore nowdays.

John said...

Even after living in D.C. for years, I still find self-serve gas stations to be a strange concept.

Dave said...

You can trust your car to the gal who wears a star.

NJ also has strange rules for shooting pool.

NatureWoman said...

OMG, LOL (not at Laura, at the scene)! Why aren't they allowed to pump their own gas in Jersey?

KatDoc said...

You can't pump your own gas in Jersey? How do you save 10 cents per gallon?

LauraHinNJ said...

See Susan? Patrick understands my sense of panic. He's from NJ too.

;-)

Trixie said...

Sounds like Oregon. I got in trouble for trying to pump my own gas there when i was there for a break in college.

Mary said...

OH...MY....GOD. You can't be serious!!!! I would have peed my pants over this.

I'm been pumping my own freaking gas for 20 years! I thought gas attendants were obsolete. What's wrong in NJ? Laura, dear Laura? I need to do a little research here...

KGMom said...

As I wrote to Laura--according to the most recent news on gas prices, the lowest prices in the country are in New Jersey. Maybe having someone else pump your gas pays off.

dguzman said...

Wow, this actual script from the episode makes this so much richer.

And I agree: Laura should've told you to top off the fluids, do the windows, and check the tires.

Anonymous said...

First time I visited NJ and had to refuel the rental car, I was practically tackled by the attendant. Whatever. Here in SoCal, we're quite capable of pumping gas (c:

-akh

Elaine @ floridabirder said...

I'm a NJ girl through and through. When I first came to Florida sans husband in 2004, I was mortified that I had to pump my own gas! My first thought was "How unfeminine." My second thought was "How...?" I've been here for more than 3 years and still feel awkward pumping gas...and klutzy...and unfeminine. It doesn't help that I am usually cursing at the freaking nozzle because it won't catch properly so that I can let it go while the tank fills up. Grrr. :)

Elaine @ floridabirder said...

Oh, and I think it's so great that you two are able to meet up and spend time together. How lucky you are.

RuthieJ said...

Susan, is this a true story??
You crack me up!
(I've been filling my own gas tank since 1978 and I still hate doing it!)