The scene: A gas station in State College, Pennsylvania
The players: Laura and Susan
Laura: Okay, I need to fill up. Here's a station...
We see yet another "film crew" of students making a film for class, at the gas pumps. We park behind them at an available pump.
Laura: (puts down her window.....then sits there)
Susan: (Opening door) I need to run in the store. (I shut the door, then look back...Laura is still just sitting there) Laura?
Laura: Is he going to pump my gas or what?
Susan: Huh? Who?
Laura: That guy-(pointing to guy making student film)
Susan: Laura.....he doesn't work here. (thinking she has lost her mind)
Laura: Where's the attendant?
Susan: The what? This is a self-serve pump.
Laura: Self-serve?!? What do I do? ( hint of panic creeping into her voice)
Susan: You pump the gas yourself, you weenie. What is wrong with you?
Laura: I don't know how!
Susan: What do you mean, you don't know how?!?
Laura: I've never pumped my own gas!
Susan: Are you sh**ting me???
Laura: No! You aren't allowed to pump your own gas in New Jersey! What do I do?
Susan: Oh, for God's sake...I'll do it.
(Walking around to the pump)
Susan: (pumping gas) This is surreal.
Laura: I want to fill it up.
Susan: Okay, okay....
Laura: How does it know when to stop?
Susan: There's a genie inside and he tells the pump that the tank is full.
(Pump clicks off at $29.80)
Laura: Can you squeeze in 20 cents more?
Susan: Jeez...picky picky.
During this exchange, I think I broke something in my gut...I haven't laughed that hard in years.
And of course, I had to tell the employees in the store about it.