Thursday, February 12, 2009

A man who knows his math!

(An email from my brother...I don't know where he gets these things...who starts these forwards?)

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the
shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his
window and gave the woman the finger.

'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely
and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the
bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 mile s is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure
I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the total number to
something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger?

I don't think so.


KGMom said...

Oh, too funny.
At first, I thought I was going to be asked to come up with some number, but no. All I had to do was laugh...which I did!

NCmountainwoman said...

You gotta love that attitude. Thanks to your brother and to you for the very funny post.

Kallen305 said...

LOL!!! His method of thinking is spot on though!! ;o)

Lynne said...

I showed it to Art the Actuary- he laughed his ass off!

Owlman said...

ROFL!! This is one fo the funniest things I've read.

Kyle said...

[No real comment here. Kyle is busy keeping his big mouth closed while smiling nicely and waving in a sheepish manner...]

RuthieJ said...

I am definitely in that 22% homicide group. (And I don't even have PMS anymore!)
This post made me laugh Susan!