Sunday, April 22, 2007


It's been hit or miss on my blog this past week. I somehow feel bad when I am too tired to post something.
My computer is moving very very slow tonight, and I have been trying to upload a video for what seems like an hour.

In the meantime, I will share a few bumper stickers that I have seen in the past few days:
(I didn't get pictures of them, but I committed them to memory, because they were too hilarious)

1. "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like his passenger".
2. "Reality is for those without imagination."
3. "I'd rather be at the beach, poking dead things with a stick."

I had some punks disapprove of my bumper sticker...(the one that says, "My Peregrine Falcon is smarter than your honor student."
I was pulling onto the street that RAPTOR is on, and some high school age boys were behind me in a car, and one of them yelled, "YOU'RE WRONG!"
Bite me.
Feeling a bit insecure, are we?
On the flip side, I have had people call out to me at red lights, telling me that my bumper stickers are hilarious.

How about a rant while we wait for this damn video to upload?
Rules I would make if I ran the show, general bitchiness, and a few things that keep me up at night:
1. Every homeowner should be required by law to have a compost pile.
2. If you own a Hummer, you deserve to be publicly flogged.
3. I hope that all the goof balls who drive around in their cars with the bass turned all the way up should go deaf.
4. Dog owners need to treat their dogs like DOGS, not short furry people.
5. Why do we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
6. If nothing sticks to Teflon, what makes Teflon stick to the pan?
7. Super models should be no younger than 30, and weigh more than 125 pounds.
8. High heels, stockings and under wire bras should be outlawed.
9. Future parents should have to have formal training in child rearing and have to get a license.
10. A male birth control pill should be invented.
11. Teenagers should have their vocal cords and sex organs paralyzed until they turn 21.
12. Child abusers should be castrated.
13. Teachers and police officers should be the highest paid professions.
14. People who let their children or dogs ride in the back of a pickup should have their driver's license revoked.
15. All auto companies not yet doing so, should be fined $1,000,000 a day until they produce a hybrid or fully electric car.
16. Every mother of a newborn should be given a maid, a chauffeur, a massage therapist and a cook, to live with them until the kid goes to college.
17. Why is it that a dog hates it when you blow in their face, but when you put them in a car, they stick their head out the window?
18. Why do we deplane, but we don't debus, decar, or deboat?
19. Why do we call a peanut out of the shell as "shelled"? Shouldn't we call it "unshelled"?
20. If someone can be called "ruthless", why can't we call the opposite "ruthfull"?

Oh, thank God...the video is done.


mon@rch said...

I know exactly how you feel! It is almost 12:30 and I am trying to catch up on visting other's blogs! Will download the video later when I have a little more time!

LostRoses said...

Cute video. The girls may not have the "take a bow" part down, but they do understand an encore! As for your rants, "short furry people" is certainly one I can empathize with, but never have the guts to verbalize. (Those people know who they are anyway!)

Liza Lee Miller said...

Rant on, girlfriend!

Mary said...

Susan, I watched your video of the girls at 5:44 a.m. and I am WIDE AWAKE, thank you. Now I understand why you say:

16. Every mother of a newborn should be given a maid, a chauffeur, a massage therapist and a cook, to live with them until the kid goes to college.

Great rant! Your girls are adorable but they wore me out.

The Swami said...

That video shows more talent and cuteness than a whole season of American Idol.

beth said...

Thanks for the entertainment and the trip down memory lane. Seems like just yesterday that MY little blonde girls were doing such things...

Now they're 16 and 15 and going to prom and homecoming and all that...

It'll fly. Enjoy every minute.


Jayne said...

Oh I remember that song! It was on Wee Sing, right??? Too cute!

Lynne said...

I WUV YOU !!!!

If I had 1/100th of your girls' energy, I'd haul my butt out of this chair and...well I'd do something...if I could just remember...

mon@rch said...

Just watched the video! Very cute!

Anonymous said...

Regarding the Hummer rant(let), Patton Oswald had a great bit about that. He said that everyone should be allowed to buy a Hummer, but that as soon as you sign the papers and the title is yours, you should be hit on the back of the neck with a roll of quarters in a sock and wake up in Iraq with a rifle. A note would be pinned to your shirt explaining that you can drive your new Hummer all you want, you just have to get the gas on your own directly from the source.

NatureWoman said...

I loooove the video - your girls are so cute girlfriend! And I love your rant. Teenage boys can be sooo stupid. And that is directly from my Dad.