Friday, December 22, 2006

Someone stop my husband so we will be able to eat next month!

Geoff has gone bonkers.

You'd think he was buying gifts for the Grand Duchesses of Russia. He has come home two days in a row with the car filled with toys. These girls had better appreciate us someday. These girls had better write glowing reviews of us in their memoirs.

I asked the opinion of RAPTOR's president and also Karla Kinstler (who lives with a can read her owl blog here) about Junior's behavior. The general concensus is that he is probably imprinted (which was the concern when he was released in January) and may very well be courting me. Laura off-handedly said a while back that I had better start wearing a hard hat at RAPTOR, but she didn't know how right she was! Karla said, and I quote:

"While imprints often can and do hunt, they get themselves and people into serious trouble when their hormones kick in. A male will attempt to copulate with its chosen mate (which means landing on that person's head repeatedly.) The bigger problem is that once a mate is chosen, all other humans can be viewed as rivals and are viciously attacked."
Holy sh*t!
If he does consider me a hot chick, he may also start to bring me food. Like rabbit heads, etc.

Looks like we will need to figure out what to do with Mr. Studly-Muffin.

It is rather serious, though. He may need to be recaptured and either given to another rescue group to be an education bird (we already have a GHO) or he may be put down. That just sucks out loud.
I won't be feeding him anymore, and definitely keeping my distance. Oh, and Laura? Know where I can get a good hard hat?


The Swami said...

Tell Geoff thanks for ensuring that The Girls will have plenty of presents for Christmas. Now, perhaps Swamette can be convinced to return, as unnecessary, all of the things we purchased for the little duchesses.

Swami was wondering if a home taxidermy kit would solve the problem with Junior.....No, I don't suppose so.

LauraHinNJ said...

I'd just back off on the food and give him the cold shoulder.

Tough love, right?

Don't let people talk you into thinking it's an emergency yet.

Susan Gets Native said...

Thanks, Laura. I will try to keep my cool and not automatically think the worst.

I will be very anti-Junior from now on.
I would never forgive myself if something drastic happened because of my interaction with him.

The Swami said...

When first reading Laura's comments I thought they were facetiously directed at Geoff for his shopping mania.

Anonymous said...

I hope the Duchesses have a merry Christmas!

Sorry about Junior but I agree with Laura -- don't panic yet! Besides, you should just tell him you love him like a brother -- he'll get the message!

As for the hardhat, I got one for Halloween -- it comes in PINK! Search Amazon -- you'll have LOTS of choices!

LauraHinNJ said...

Swami: You mean you think I'm referring to Junior?

Mary said...

Oh, Susan. I guess Mr. Studly-Muffin needs a plan. Kind of sad but it sounds like he has a crush on a hot chick... Be careful and maybe if you stop talking to him he cool off. Get a hard hat, in any case.

The duchesses will always keep Santa close to their hearts.

The Swami said...

Uh, Laura, no, er... I knew you were referring to that maniacal-shopper Geoff.

NatureWoman said...

Hope you figure out what to do with Mr. Studly-Muffin Junior - he's so wonderful.